As a children’s coach and a long-time Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu practitioner, I truly understand the desire to support your child’s journey on the mat. My stepdaughter has taught me how to walk that delicate line between offering encouragement and applying pressure.
I am a parent off the mat, and a coach on the mat — and on the mat, all children are equal, with the same rights and responsibilities.
Finding the right balance between being a supportive figure and a coach is essential for helping children develop a long-lasting love for Jiu-Jitsu.
Believe me, you play a crucial role, even from the sidelines.
Be a Parent, Not a Coach
Let's be clear, your role as parents in jiu jitsu isn’t to coach. That's the instructor's job. Resist the urge to shout instructions from the sidelines, even if you’ve trained a bit yourself. It's common when kids first start training for them to look to the sidelines for help when in a bad position. The best think you can do is ignore them and let them figure out the position or get submitted. Let the professionals guide their technique and safety on the mat.
Your well-meaning tips might actually confuse your child or, worse, put them at risk - especially if you have not trained before. Instead, focus on providing encouragement and positive reinforcement. Let your child know that you're proud of their efforts, regardless of whether they win or lose.
Creating a Positive Training Environment for Your Child
A supportive training environment starts with respect. This means respect for the coaches, the other kids, the other parents, and the learning process. I've witnessed the tension that sideline coaching can create, putting unnecessary pressure on the children. Remember, the gym isn’t a battleground where every sparring round equals a win or loss. I promise you the more your child loses in training the better they will become.
Celebrate the effort, the learning moments, the camaraderie, not just the victories. That’s how we, as parents in jiu jitsu, foster a healthy relationship with the sport for our kids. Encourage your child to make friends with their training partners and to view the gym as a fun and supportive community. Encourage your child to tell their training partner how cool their armbar was next time they get caught in one.
Conclusion
As parents in jiu jitsu, we need to champion their passion while also recognizing they are individuals forging their own paths. By resisting the urge to micromanage or live vicariously through their progress, we offer the space needed for true, sustainable growth. Remember, it’s about their journey, not your ambitions. Embrace the highs, learn from the lows, and never underestimate the profound impact your unwavering support has on their lives both on and off the mat.
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